Is Selena Gomez Porking Legolas?

Selena Gomez has been seen around town with the very pretty Orlando Bloom. The two were spotted canoodling outside of the Chelsea Handler live comedy show at the L.A. Forum where half of Hollywood were ordered to attend by their shared publicists. When the photogs spotted the new couple, Bloom darted away like he was prancing after marauding orcs. It’s possible that the two are having a good old fashioned revenge fuck. Lesbian troll doll Justin Bieber is rumored to have boffed Legolas’ ex-wife Miranda Kerr back when they were still together and when having sex with Justin Bieber still meant something to a foreign model. It’s possible that Orlando and Selena are getting their vengeance by bumping petite uglies. It’s also possible Orlando mistook Selena for one of the many twink Mexican sex workers who were enjoying a particularly prolific evening with the Chelsea Handler demographic out behind the Forum.