Justin Bieber Thinks He’s James Dean Now

Justin Bieber makes the same stupid, confused face in every picture he takes, as he looks like a cross between a guy who hasn’t taken a shit in 20 years and someone who can’t find his car in a supermarket parking lot. He proved that when he found an old photo of James Dean that we’ve all seen a million times before, and Justin wanted to take a picture just like it, because he, too, is a young rebel who plays by his own rules. But while James actually smiled in his photo, Justin still had to play it really cool and look like he just walked into an airport bathroom and couldn’t believe the smell. Justin also had to make sure he held his watch up like he’s never made a natural gesture in his life, because that’s how all of his black friends tell him the real ballers act, before he leaves the room and they say, “I can’t believe this dipshit gives us all his money to hang out with him.” But sure, Justin, you’re just like James Deen. Let’s just hope no one spoils the ending of that story for him.