Aaron Carter Wants Hilary Duff Back

Aaron Carter is still in love with his teenage girlfriend Hilary Duff and is acting like a middle school girl on Twitter to prove it. The two of them dated when they were 13, back when Aaron could only dream about meeting his future broke and unemployed hero self in ten years time. They would braid each other’s hair and doodle love notes in his unicorn trapper keeper until he chose loose lipped Lindsay Lohan over Hilary. It appears that Aaron only now realizes the error of slipping his wee-wee into Lindsay instead of waiting on Hilary. He Tweeted a picture of the about to be divorced Duff and wrote,

“Don’t be that stupid douche that loses the love of your life forever.. Like me…I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to better myself to get back to her. I don’t care what ANY of you think.”

I’m sure it sucks that your glory days happened in middle school, but women do not like the smell of desperation. Play it cool, Snapper. Start tweeting about all the hotties be hitting on you during your swing shit at Jack in the Box. Subtly mention how it looks like the creditors might let you keep your Fiero. And then, you can never go wrong with using your God-given vocal talents to win her back. They’ve yet to invent a girl who can resist the doleful croon of Aaron’s Party (Come Get It). Stick to your game, player. This seems nearly certain to happen.