OJ Simpson Is Sad

OJ Simpson is going on a hunger strike in a Nevada prison because he’s sad and wants to die. He’s currently serving time for a 2008 conviction for kidnapping and robbery, though he’s better remembered for slaughtering his ex-wife and the world’s most unlucky waiter. Also, those hilarious Naked Gun movies. I guess it must be hard to be 66 years old and be rotting in jail alone and unloved. Prison rape is really a young man’s game. Of course, if The Juice really wanted to die, he could slit his wrist or tell the Mexican Mafia that mariachi music all sounds the same. He’s just crying out for attention with his manorexia plan. He doesn’t have the guts to starve himself to death. Though we should live televise him trying. I’d keep that on in the background.

(Photo Via NBC News)