Justin Bieber Takes Control of His Bitches

Building off the dressing down he gave Tubbs and Crockett for pulling the plug on his street racing, Bieber came down with full 65-lb bench press force on his entourage and the bitch he’s currently let service his gift. What Bieber’s inner circle thought would be an intervention down in Panama has turned into the Canadian King Joffrey drinking beers on the beach and insisting he be filmed riding his ATV for some epic new music video moments. Meanwhile, Bieber consort and young scholar Chantel Jeffries had been using a lawyer to secretly shop around her Tales of Whorish Street Racing with Justin to the morning talk shows for twenty grand. When Bieber’s spies appraised him of the situation, he raised his mighty hammer and ordered her to cut that shit out. And she did. Then Bieber ordered Chantel to dress him to match the Bad Touch girl doll that prosecutors let her keep form all her childhood court cases. Bow down before Zed, the Canadian douche god and pray to be spared.

Photo Credit: Splash