Bieber Could Be Charged With A Felony For Egging

Justin Bieber could get sent to the ass pokey for egging his neighbor’s house. We told you last week about an incident that occurred in which everyone’s favorite mop-top lesbian pelted his neighbor’s house with eggs. He was mad at the neighbor because he didn’t think that Justin being the most annoying fucking twat on the planet was cute. He didn’t respect the artist. The neighbor is saying that the egging caused 20K in damage to his house. In California any property damage caused by vandalism over $400 is considered a felony. I’m not exactly sure how a few eggs could cause that much damage to a house. Was he shooting them out of some kind of egg bazooka or did he learn to fire them from his vagina like those girls in Thailand do with ping pong balls…I’ve heard?

I know Bieber’s going to be let off with a warning or having to have one of his rapper posse sign in for him at a roadside cleanup crew for a week. He probably won’t even get deported back to Canada. But wouldn’t it be glorious if this was the crime that finally brought Bieber down? In the least, the cops could bring him in for questioning and run a baton roughshod up his sphincter while blaming him for the crappy music their daughters keep playing in their houses. I know tons of kids egg houses, but isn’t it time we made somebody the bloody ass rape example for the rest of the world to stop this insidious practice? You could tell kids going out on Halloween, now don’t end up not being able to control your bowels anymore like that poor Justin Bieber. I’d put the eggs away.