Justin Bieber Carried Up the Great Wall of China

Justin Bieber had his minions carry him up a section of the Great Wall of China so he could feel like Emperor Ming inspecting his grand creation. Also, to prove the basic law of physics that it’s not that hard for two big dudes to carry a midget up a flight of stairs. When he reached the crenelated lookout post, Justin took a dump on the ancient rocks and barked at a Chinese girl to preserve it in a knockoff Nike shoebox. He also poked an elderly blind man in the eye with a chopstick and told him it would give him sight. A nearby couple giggled in Mandarin that the Great Wall had kept out Mongol marauders for centuries but couldn’t stop one little retard from ruining China. Biebers translator informed him of the joke so Bieber ordered them thrown off his wall. Then he snatched up a moon-shaped lute and broke into song. Nobody really paid attention but the song still received 220,000,000 views on YouTube.

Photo Credit: Twitter