Chris Brown Comes to Justin Bieber’s Defense

Chris Brown is an asshole version of Nanny McPhee. When you don’t need him and don’t want him, he’ll be there. (Yes, I did just make a Nanny McPhee reference. No, I don’t want to tell you how I know that.)

Brown compared himself to Bieber, saying the press has used both of them as punching bags. “With [Justin], it’s a case of how I feel. It’s being young, having limitless amount of income for whatever you want to do as a young guy. And then, at the same time, you don’t have nobody that’s gonna say, ‘Hey, bruh, you look whack right now.'”

Well that clears that up, he just didn’t know he couldn’t beat a woman unconscious because he has money. So next time Chris Brown decides to step out with a young lady and she complains that he…

“…punched her in the left eye with his right hand (and) continued to punch her in the face… The assault caused her mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.”

…someone should pull him aside and tell him that he looks pretty whack right now. Chris they actually make a little remedy to cure this kind of stupidity, it’s called a Colt .45, suck on one. Rihanna can write a sad ballad about your tragic end and become even more famous. Then you’ll finally be even.