Heidi Klum is single

Heidi Klum and Seal have had 4 kids during their seemingly happy 7 year marriage, but now those kids are orphans or whatever because Klum and Seal are getting a divorce. Last night, they released this controversial statement…

“We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other, but our six-year-old son Henry still wets the bed. It’s so embarrassing! We can’t even have his friends over anymore because he’ll pee on them. I don’t know what his deal is. He must like it, the little pervert. Does sham-wow make sheets? Because we’d buy some. Anyway, this led to a lot of tension in the house and that led to fights. So thanks a lot you little dick! Way to ruin our family.”

Wow, nice job Henry. Hey look, your mom is crying again, is this what you wanted, are you happy now?