thursday night headlines

MATT AND TREY – say Comedy Central removed a speech about “intimidation and fear” from last nights episode after some dim witted muslims threatened to kill them. The group says South Park insulted their prophet by depicting him in a bear costume. To make matters worse, now a bear group is threatening to eat Matt and Trey for depicting one of them as one of those dirty islam idiots. (yahoo)

SANDRA BULLOCK – reportedly would have stayed with Jesse James if his cheating had not gone public and had been dealt with privately. Or also had he not banged tons of whores. That would have helped out too. (us.com)

DINA LOHAN – says Michael Lohan is the real problem in this whole Lindsay and Ali incident. She says Michael is crazy, and apparently Lindsay and Ali are doing great. Now I’d like you to open the envelope I gave you earlier today. You’ll see it says exactly that, predicted hours before Dina said anything. I must be some kind of gifted psychic. (radar)

PEOPLE WHO READ TYLER – run a website about legalizing weed and they want to be on ‘Attack of the Show’ to talk about it. So go over here because I guess that helps in some way. If you do it you get to click some buttons. If you don’t, you’ll miss out on all that hot clicking action! (htgb)

ZAHIA DEHAR – is that teenage prostitute in France who slept with a bunch of soccer players. And who turned 18 less than 2 months ago. That’s her below when she was 17. And perhaps 16. She would travel the world, making upwards of 20 grand a month. In a related story, one time when I was 16, I found a dollar and used it to buy a soft taco. I’m a winner! (mirror)