friday morning headlines

COLLEGE HUMOR – is having their Americas Hottest College Girl contest. Remember this hot bitch? Oh good you’re nodding (I can see you through your webcam, btw). Well that’s Nikki. And everyone should go vote for her. Because she reads Tyler too, and she asked me to put this up. So you two have a lot in common. If you vote for her she’ll probably wanna go out with you. (college humor, last girl in the south bracket – nikkis facebook)

JESSICA SIMPSON – says you have to know who you are before falling in love, and that “no man can define you.” Except in this case. And that man is Papa John. (people)

JESSE JAMES – is romantic. That’s why he waited a few weeks after marrying Sandra Bullock to start cheating again. Awww, he’s like a big teddy bear, that guy. (radar)

HULK HOGAN – says he became so depressed after his divorce that he took, “pills and rum, put a gun in my mouth and thought, pull the trigger.” Yeah, because Linda Hogan was such a prize. Looks like not being a loser is Hulks toughest opponent yet. (the sun)