thursday morning headlines

GEORGE CLOONEY – didn’t look quite as cool in his yearbook as he does now. The only way this picture could be any more 80’s nerdier is if they had photoshopped him over a floppy disk. He must be smiling because it was early and the other kids hadn’t taken his backpack yet. (wonderwall)

KE$HA – isn’t shy about bashing Britney Spears for lip-synching during concerts. “No offense to her specifically, but people have asked me before to mime. I have been up at 3:00 in the morning for a television show with jet lag but I refuse to mime.” Wow. Those are strong words. I bet I’d be even more shocked if I had any idea who the fuck it was we’re talking about. (e online)

ELIN NORDEGREN – has been living in a rented house after since Tiger Woods got out of sex rehab, but she’s finally decided to move back in with him. What a lucky fella. Have fun with your horribly awkward and frigid sex, Tiger. (radar online)

THE WHORES! – love musicians. Even crappy ones. Nikki Sixx used to date Kat Von D, but now he’s a got a new special lady in his life. Her net outfit is sexy but also practical because you can spray her down with sanitizer before you have sex. HAIR METAL UPDATE – Nikki Sixx would be thrilled to know how many fans he has, because I guess that’s not him. I just went by what the picture agency said. It might be Billy Idols guitarist Steve Stevens. Which would mean he’s not crappy at all, unlike this update. (pacific coast)