thank you kim kardashian

This year, for the first time in his NFL career, Reggie Bush is playing the kind of football that was expected of him when he came out of USC. And now his team, the New Orleans Saints, are in the Super Bowl.

Also this year, Reggies girlfriend Kim Kardashain went from “very pretty” to “my erection is becoming painful”, as you can see in these pictures from a photo shoot that she put on twitter.

Those two things aren’t coincidence. If I were Reggie I’d want to end the game as quickly as possible too, and go up by 90 points in the first half and then rest up. I don’t care how cool your job is, if you get to go home at night and bang Kim Kardashian, your job is an obstacle that needs to be treated as such. Even if your job was head coach for both teams at the Playmate Blowjob Races, you’d still just look at your watch the entire time.