tara reid in playboy

This is apparently the only website in America that Playboy reads other than their own, because I get yelled at every time I post their pictures even though this is the internet and anyone can find anything at anytime. Here’s a video of Spock singing about Hobbits. Neither of those things even fukcing exist, and yet that’s a video of them together, so you can sure as hell find pictures from the most famous magazine in the world.

Point being, the January issue with Tara Reid is now out, and the Playboy website (NSFW) will have her entire pictorial starting Monday, but until then there are two low-quality magazine scans here and here.

The January issue is also the one with the 2009 Playmate review and voting for Playmate of the Year, so everyone should go vote (NSFW) for my beloved Kimberly Phillips.

I’ve never met her but she’s physically perfect and she seems nice. I don’t want her to end up as one of those prostitutes or porn stars. Speaking of porn, would it kill them to stop having scenes begin with the girl alone against a wall dancing. 100 percent of them are either too high or too ashamed to do anything sexy, so they all look like those girls in ‘Taken’ forced to dance during their auction.

The other thing porn needs to stop doing is cutting to the guy during the money shot.  I time my big finish around that, and all I want to see is the imaginary bullseye on the girls tongue, not some sweaty bisexual ape grunting.  If I wanted to see some guy come, I would be watching gay porn, not ‘ATM Schoolgirl Sluts: POV’. I don’t even wanna see his blurry reflection in the KY smeared on her tits, and I wanna hunt down and execute the people who do a 30 second cut to the guy so he can mumble some dialogue. Because now, through no fault or desire of my own, now I’m jacking off to a naked guy with a hard on, and half way through what should have been my triumphant finale I’m in panic mode, looking around the room for anything else to focus on, which is why I’ve jacked off to ESPN on more than one occasion, and why now I get an erection every time football comes on.