afternoon headlines

HOOPER PENN – is the 16-year-old son of Sean Penn, and last week he was arrested at his prissy Malibu high school. At the time it wasn’t clear why, but now it’s been reveled that – brace yourself – he had drugs. I should go talk to his school about the “Hugs, Not Drugs” program. You, in the front row, with the red hair and big tits, come on up and we’ll show the class how this works. (radar)

JENNIFA YOPEZ – is fighting to stop the release of 11 hours of home video footage, which among other things shows her parading around mostly naked and arguing with her mother. A Latin girl who is overtly sexual but also has a temper? Yeah, right! This sounds fake to me. (enquirer)

AUDRINA PATRIDGE – walked around LA today, and in some of the pictures from this set her arms were up across her chest and you couldn’t see her huge tits. Needless to say I skipped right over those. (pacific coast)