joe francis acted in “self-defense”

The attorney for Joe Francis must be from one of those countries where they chop out a womans clitoris when she turns 11 or push them in volcanoes to make it rain, and he’ll be all set if he can get Joe’s assault trial moved there. Otherwise this may be the dumbest defense strategy in the history of anything ever.

Joe Francis acted in self-defense when he grabbed Jayde Nicole’s hair and violently yanked her off a bar stool and dragged her along the floor, his lawyer says.
“The footage clearly shows Nicole instigating the incident, waiting to hit Francis in the back of the head and then pour her drink down his back, thereby committing two counts of battery on Francis,” says a press release quoting Francis lawyer Cyrus Nownejad. He also points out that because the tape has no audio you can’t hear Jayde screaming “I’m going to kill you” at Francis.
“My client grabbed Nicole’s hair in self-defense to restrain her from further assaults against him and to protect himself against her horrendous threat.”

Let’s read that last one again.

“My client grabbed Nicole’s hair in self-defense to restrain her from further assaults against him and to protect himself against her horrendous threat.”

It must have taken superhuman strength for Joe to overcome his injuries and find the courage to grab a 100 pound model by her hair and drag her across the floor. Sure she had her back to him, but that’s just the point. She was facing the bar. She’d already poured 1oz of vodka on his back, now she was reloading. Now we’re up to a quarter-cup, and that’s IF there’s no ice. He could have drowned. His quick thinking saved his life, pretty much.