JOE FRANCIS IS SO SCREWED

A federal judge has refused to reduce the sentence of "Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis from 35 days to 30, a move that may cost Francis another year in prison.  Francis' lawyer explained that having a record with over 30 days in prison changes the sentencing guidelines in Francis upcoming federal case on tax evasion charges and would make him eligible for another year in jail.  Francis is currently in prison for contempt of court, but faces up to 100 years in jail for other charges including smuggling contraband cash and drugs into jail and trying to bribe a prison guard.  Joe has settled with the seven girls who brought charges claiming he got them drunk and filmed them for a "GGW" tape when they were underage (this is reminiscent of the claim the LA Times made when a reporter allegedly witnessed Francis rape 18-year-old virgin Jannel Szyszka).  The seven girls were asking for 70 million dollars, a number Francis could pay, since he reportedly makes almost 30 million a year.   When and if Joe gets released from this current stay in jail, US Marshalls will immediately arrest him for the tax evasion charges.  God that was exhausting.  I didn't realize what a scumbag this dude is.  I think Jannel Szyzka and I speak for everyone when we say we hope he's sentenced to a thousand years in jail and he gets raped twice a day.  And I don't mean "raped" as in the feeling I get when I see the 20 dollar surcharge on the ATM in a strip club, I mean raped by a stuffed marlin while someone shoves his head in a toilet.  Hopefully his cell mates will be up for it, because I could never rape anyone.  I can barely even manage consensual sex.  The girl can sit there on her hands and knees wiggling her ass, practically pointing where to put it and my aim is still off 98 percent of the time.  It takes me 10 minutes to put a pillow in a pillowcase for Christ's sake, so forget about getting my dork into someone who's screaming and kicking me.  You really have to admire the focus of a prison rapist.  Bravo to you, sir. 

(source, source and source)