JESSICA SIMPSON IS MISTAKEN

Jessica Simpson said last week on the Jimmy Kimmel show that her next project is a movie with Luke Wilson called "Blond Ambition" and says she's already bracing herself for the tabloid stories claiming the two are an item.  All of which is news to Luke Wilson.  MSNBC says:

A rep for Wilson told Star, "This project is in talks."  What’s more, a source told the tab, "Luke Wilson will never do a movie with Jessica Simpson."

Unsurprisingly, Jessica's dad Joe is once again the mastermind behind this latest total disaster:

"Joe is telling Jessica he's getting big stars.  Joe’s been working on it for months. It’ll end up having a bunch of nobodies if it happens … It’s such a joke. He’s been sending out half-written scripts with personal letters to stars asking them to be in it."

Life has beaten Jess pretty bad lately, and she's been in a few bad relationships, so I'm thinking it may be time to pounce.  Like a tiger on a lonely antelope.  In this case, an antelope with big tits and pretty hair.  This is the best time to make a move on a hot chick who would ordinarily be out of your league.  It's like getting a dog from the pound.  As long as you don't take a swing at her, you'll pretty much be the best thing that's happened to her in 5 years.