Trotting Paula Jones out for another recounting of a Bill Clinton Governor pants dropping is a sure sign this election is just about over. Hillary Clinton may be the most insidious Corleone fatty sister and her fake husband may... READ MORE

Jared Fogle's second ex-wife is suing Subway because she claims the fast food franchise knew all along her husband was a creepy sex offender but kept it from both Americans who love shitty cheap food and herself. READ MORE

Eventually, the politically correct eat their own. It's the Hungry Hungry Hippos Theory of self-righteous consumption. If the process happened with any expediency, the snowflakes would melt faster than they're falling. It's not. The drifts are growing. READ MORE

There's some kind of special pressure not to pause in the middle of your act when you're lip-synching to pre-recorded tracks. There's probably a few girls in Senegal with a phonograph who still believes Britney sings lives. READ MORE

Speaking into a camera for three minutes about your looks is vain by definition. No man would allow a woman to run-on thusly in his presence unless he was super confident there was sex at the end. Even then,... READ MORE

The amount of irony involved in Madonna stepping up to the microphone at an Amy Schumer comedy concert and offering blow jobs to audience members in exchange for voting for Hillary Clinton is difficult to count. But let's start... READ MORE

If this election cycle proves anything, it's that the robots don't have a big hill to climb to take over. All those dystopian universe novels where plucky rebels fight the Matrix are based on a premise of highly-involved, independent... READ MORE

During her performance in Tampa over the weekend, Amy Schumer announced that her raunchy sex jokes were going to stop for five minutes to save the world with political rants. You don't necessarily see the political segue coming from... READ MORE

If you're still getting paid to show off your tits on camera at forty-three, consider yourself blessed. That's Clemens and Bonds era longevity. A bygone fantasy cocktail. READ MORE

Gender doesn't matter, until it does and decides Presidential elections. The lowest common denominator election in anybody alive's lifetime is about to be settled on a definitively gender basis. A new CNN map showed how if only men voted,... READ MORE