“It was a hard week. I was working out every morning and had a huge show every night” “When people are pushing their camera in your face all day long and yell mean things at you, it’s hard.” “I’m only human,... READ MORE

At some point in the douchebag lifecycle, you reach self-awareness. If you’re lucky, it happens early, in junior high school when you look in the mirror and realize you look like a total dick for putting gel in your... READ MORE

If Justin Bieber has taught us anything, it’s that grabbing your dick and moving your mouth while someone plays your album to an arena full of future Old Navy assistant managers is hard work. It’s even tougher when you... READ MORE

Damn, who feels bad/prescient/hopeful now, when just yesterday I wrote: First Chavez, now Paul Bearer, that doesn’t bode well for one celebrity come tomorrow, as these things always happen in threes. Maybe Bieber will prove this stupid superstition out... READ MORE

Imagine you’re the dude that Ducati brings in to crisis manage the fact that Ducati is getting a bad rap as the bike for gay poser riders and then Justin Bieber and Usher appear as the highest profiles celebrity... READ MORE

Justin Bieber may come off like a pussy little douche because he wears jean jackets and looks like Maggie Grace’ lesbian sister, but there is not a chance in hell you or I would survive a street fight with... READ MORE

Justin Bieber ran around London yesterday grabbing his dick and wearing a gas mask. I’m told the cops over there don’t carry guns. Excellent. I’m also told Bieber is a huge Argentina fan. To be clear, Scotland Yard, my... READ MORE

It’s hard for Justin Bieber to seem tough since he looks more like Maggie Grace than an 18-year-old boy, but he tries desperately hard anyway, at least from the safety of twitter. After sweeping major categories at the Grammy... READ MORE

In case it wasn’t clear before, Justin Bieber is a little faggot. Not in the sense that he has sex with other men (presumably), I don’t think anyone uses “faggot” in reference to gay guys anymore, but because he’s... READ MORE

Are pictures of Justin Bieber worth dying for? Yes, but only if he’s the one dying in them. But a paparazzi died yesterday anyway while trying to take a picture of Justin Biebers white Ferrari after it was pulled... READ MORE