So, Paris Hilton went to Cannes, and she spun and twirled and posed on the sidewalk while some twink yelled her name so everyone would look at them as he pretended to be a photographer, even though it looks... READ MORE

Nicole Kidman plays a white trash slut so well in ‘the Paperboy’ that they might as well have called it ‘the Dina Lohan Story’, especially since they’ll both be remembered for the awful thing that came out of their... READ MORE

Another good idea would be to take pictures of Kelly in a bikini made of cling wrap, or my semen, or to just cover my ears and babble really loudly while Kelly insists I never gave her a bikini... READ MORE

Kelly Brook really made the most of her time in Cannes yesterday. She started with the photo shoot in the phone booth (there are finally more pictures from that), then got on a boat in the same outfit, then... READ MORE

There’s always bikini pictures during the Cannes Film Festival, because all the cool Hollywood people try to stay at the Hotel du Cap (or as Brett Ratner called it, “the Hotel du Crap”. LOL! Oh Brett, is there no... READ MORE

This very famous actress arrived at the airport in Nice today on her way to the Cannes Film Festival, but who is it? Is it the ghost of Shelly Long? Does Taylor Swift have progeria? I’ll give you a... READ MORE

Physically perfect Kelly Brook was in Cannes today, wearing a bikini in a phone booth, because she’s one of the red hot local girls just waiting for your call. So why not give it a try, have fun and... READ MORE

Chinese actress Hao Lei is in Cannes to help promote her new movie ‘Mystery’, and I’ve never heard of her until now but it turns out she’s everything I’ve been searching for. That’s just how love works, it’s full... READ MORE

What started out as an erotic afternoon of ass rubbing between Sacha Baron Cohen and Elisabetta Canalis ended in tragedy today after Cohen showed his penis to Canalis. The Italian supermodel began to laugh and seemed to think it... READ MORE

Sacha Baron Cohen was in Cannes today to promote ‘The Dictator’, and doing it in character like he always does, when he fell off a camel. He was 40 years old, and is survived by his wife, Isla Fisher,... READ MORE