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Bella Thorne Trucks Herself In Multimillion Dollar F*ck Me Firetruck Music Video

January 15, 2019 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Conspiracy theory time. What if AIDS under a microscope Bella Thorne was meta, and her new self-directed music video for Fuck Me Firetruck was a commentary on the stage four delusion experienced by the whore-des of D-list plastic surgery... READ MORE

Lohan Believes She Has Enough Funds To Buy An Island

January 15, 2019 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has changed her financial situation more times than New York City has changed the definition of gender. If a gender fluid person is able to identify as both a man and woman at the same time, even... READ MORE

Dani Fernandez Mouse Blouse and Crap Around the Web

January 14, 2019 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Start your week off on the good foot with these sexy links including Carolina Garzon naked, Cambrie Schroder nip slip, and hot red band trailer lesbian action! READ MORE

Dave Chappelle’s 2003 R. Kelly ‘Piss On You’ Video Told Us Everything We Needed To Know

January 14, 2019 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

  This video is an addendum to last week’s rapist-empowered Xtina post, because it really exemplifies just how delusional we can be towards a musician if we think his songs are damn bops. R. Kelly has been a know sexual... READ MORE

Spears’ Family Emergency Causes Las Vegas Cancellations

January 14, 2019 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Some celebrities do actually own a heart.  Britney Spears’ father falling ill is the best thing that’s ever happened to Vegas. Not the best for Britney, though. Spears has been canceled until further notice. Why does it take someone... READ MORE

Gordon Ramsey’s Sexual Innuendos Made Sofia Vergara Uncomfortable

January 14, 2019 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Bygones are no longer bygones. MeToo has turned into one big angry bitch with an affinity for bringing up old offenses to argue her point. I’m still willing to point out that are more important things to ponder over... READ MORE

Katy Perry Was Once Suspended For Humping A Tree That She Pretended Was Tom Cruise

January 14, 2019 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

"At the 2:00pm recess, Katy and four other students were in an ‘off-limits’ area (behind the backboards) practicing a skit. Katy pretended that a tree was Tom Cruise and began making sexual motions (‘pelvic thrusts’) to the tree." READ MORE

Chris Pratt Engaged To Random Mangled Whore With Jesus’ Blessing

January 14, 2019 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Today we remember Anna Faris, because there's no way her poor heart is going to be able to weather the news of her ex Chris Pratt getting engaged to some random mangled whore. Well actually the woman Pratt is... READ MORE

Michael Jackson Getting His Own “Surviving R. Kelly” Special

January 14, 2019 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Don’t, for a second, believe that just because Ariel Winter lost weight that all is right in the world again. R. Kelly is still at large and Michael Jackson is channeling his displeasure from the afterlife after finding out... READ MORE

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