Engineer Ricky Ma has created a functioning robot that looks a shit ton like Scarlett Johansson. It’s unclear if the robot has any utilitarian purpose or if Ma is just showing off the fact that he’s Asian. If you can’t... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson moved on from Ryan Reynolds to marry a Ryan Reynolds doppelgänger scrubbed through a European metrosexual sieve. Upon their wedding, her husband Romain Dauriac tattooed the phrase ‘Lost Illusion’ on his body. Imagine his answer to what the means in... READ MORE

Taking a respite from their obsession with all things cock, the ancient Greeks invented what they referred to as the golden ratio of the female body based on tit to waist to hip measurements. It’s like the old 36-24-26... READ MORE

If Scarlett Johansson were my Jewish daughter, I’d sit her down and tell her after reportedly banging Benicio Del Toro in an elevator, failing to be married to Ryan Reynolds, and doinking Sean Penn, it’s time to find a... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson is pretty smart. She managed to carefully navigate a response to being called out in Dylan Farrow’s ‘I Got Fondled And Nobody Gives a Shit’ letter as one of the actors who should be ashamed to be... READ MORE

I’m not sure why Scarlett Johansson is so blurry, maybe she’s sad. This movie Under the Skin will likely be as boring as the rest of Scotland, no offense to Scotland, naturally. There are worse things than boring. Look... READ MORE

Soon, Scarlett Johansson will be bringing new life into this world with her French boyfriend Jean Valjean or something like that. While most people voted for Scarlett not to get pregnant so they could continue masturbating to her old... READ MORE

Scarlett Johansson is planning to marry her fiancé Romain Dauriac in September, but their family is apparently going to start a few months before then. According to reports, Scarlett is five months pregnant with her first child, and everyone... READ MORE

I didn’t even know Scarlett Johansson was an ambassador. Apparently, she was, and a Global Ambassador to boot, for Oxfam, which is kind of complicated organization to explain, so let’s just call it rich white people trying to save... READ MORE

Everybody is using Scarlett Johansson’s birthday today as an excuse to show a bunch of pictures of her big ole boobs. I skipped Acai berries and that whole ‘get in shape’ thing during the last decade, I’ll be damned... READ MORE