Paris Hilton is currently on a two month world tour where she DJs and stares blankly at an imaginary cure for herpes in the distance. Being a DJ is a logical step for Hilton as it requires four part... READ MORE

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton reconciled in a bar in Ibiza after years of hating on each other. Nobody actually remembers why the two nitwits fell out in the first place, but as with any whore fight, it probably... READ MORE

I guess the deal was we get two Ebola infected patients and we send Paris Hilton back to Africa. It’s something like the atlantic triangular slave trade except it’s all microscopic infectious diseases now. However Paris jumped her transport... READ MORE

My heartstrings could use a little advanced notice on Paris Hilton breakups. Apparently she doesn’t understand how many of us live through her romantic and viral transmission escapades. The last I heard Paris was dating that teen boy model... READ MORE

Only mostly everybody at Chris Brown’s Kick’N’ It for Charity Celebrity Kickball game in Glendale had rap sheets. Chris, DJ Khaled, The Game, and a few other charitable fellows famous for drugs and beating women showed up for a... READ MORE

There’s no bigger mood killer than when Jeremy Jackson shows up at your party screaming, “Don’t you know who I am? I was on Baywatch and Celebrity Rehab.” Paris Hilton was just trying to kick it with some of... READ MORE

Every now and then a song comes along that you hear and just know the music world will never be the same. Paris Hilton’s Come Alive is not one of those songs. Unless we’re limiting our definition of the... READ MORE

The Hilton sisters eminent domain a beach house each summer in Malibu where they can store their party drugs and giggle like dullards at their great-grandfather’s writings on the chaste life. Every fourth of July, the inflamed one and... READ MORE

The BET people really need to work on their pro forma white invites. I understand you’re black entertainment for everybody, including wealthy white heiresses with hot new house music singles tracking in Qatar. But maybe you don’t pick the... READ MORE

It’s easy to forget that Paris Hilton is a significant music artist in countries where they still burn goats to make it rain. I was pretty convinced she’d never cut it in the rough U.S. market until I saw... READ MORE