Holy christ, Paris, don’t touch the red button. That causes Botswana to explode. Fuck, too late. Somebody should’ve noted that fucking a DJ is not the same as getting a legit DJ’s certificate from the Universal Life Church which... READ MORE

Here’s an interesting proposition for the comic nerds. Can Superman contract The Herp? Current Superma Henry Cavil was seen leaving the Chateau Marmont with Paris Hilton. Kryptonite. Read all about Superman’s latest foe: the demon rash. (Dlisted) Nikki Lund in... READ MORE

I imagine hell to be Paris Hilton waving her arm in the air DJing at a sweaty nightclub while throngs babble in thick cockney accents. Fuck, I just shuddered. I hope when I get there it’s just flames and... READ MORE

All the big names in European third wave popular music gathered at the suspiciously unheard of NRJ Awards in Cannes to celebrate their horribleness. Paris Hilton captured the attention of the crowd with her tits while a gang of... READ MORE

Slut beasts Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton were seen making out at Art Basel in Miami right in front of Miley’s boyfriend baby Schwarzenegger. I wonder what bacterial plagues that live in those whorish maws did they swap? Read... READ MORE

The DJ world was turned on its head last night when Paris Hilton was named the best female spinner in the universe by a group of daisy-chained French metrosexuals. The competition was stiff and included several other girls nobody... READ MORE

Paris Hilton seems to be missing her teenage model boyfriend. He wasn’t her intellectual match, but when he complained about the demon bumps bursting out on his gonads, Paris slapped him across the face and told him he wasn’t... READ MORE

With all the hoopla over the celebrity nude photo leak, one has to wonder, why the fuck did nobody care the many times before celebrity photos and sex videos got shat out across the Internet? I’d say it’s because... READ MORE

The fact that Paris Hilton continues to receive a suitcase full of cash for partying at European and Middle Eastern nightclubs continues to amaze me. I know these venues cater to the dumb and the drunk, I just didn’t... READ MORE

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI READ MORE