Paris Hilton would make a great dictator’s wife. It’s not her built in sieg heil salute so much as her ability to stare blankly, smile, and wave to uninterested passersby in the street and pretend they are sdoring fans.... READ MORE

If I told you that a blonde-haired lazy-eyed herp-ridden cocaine-addled heiress would someday become the world’s most successful nightclub promotions pimp, you’d tell me, duh, that that was completely obvious. Nobody whores up nightclub openings better and bigger and... READ MORE

Every year Paris Hilton shows up to Coachella with a new boyfriend. Yes, I know I said that about Kate Bosworth, but it’s also true for Paris Hilton. Also the part about the drugs and the fucking. But Paris... READ MORE

Paris Hilton is the latest victim in one of the stupidest practical jokes going on in Hollywood — swatting. Some tool cals the cops and says somebody is breaking into a celebrity home and they send the SWAT team... READ MORE

An ad company in India is neck-deep in the proverbial shit after it ran two ads for the Ford Figo that portrayed violence toward women. JWT India’s ads made fun of former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi and his... READ MORE

The European School Of Economics Foundation Vision And Reality Awards were held last night in New York and attended by Paris Hilton, and though it may look like I found two unrelated sentences, cut them in half and then... READ MORE

Paris Hilton (seen here with Frankenstein-headed piece of shit Perez Hilton) had a private conversation recorded while in a taxi in New York, and just like the private video where she said she and her sister were “like two... READ MORE

Hey, ya know whats sexy? Neither does Paris Hilton. Thats why she’s crawling out of the water like some prehistoric fish taking its first steps onto land. It’s like an evolution chart that a religious person would make to... READ MORE

Are pictures of Paris Hilton in a bikini better than no bikini pictures at all? Only in the sense that they might remind you to go look at some better bikini pictures later on. Let me know if you... READ MORE

So, Paris Hilton went to Cannes, and she spun and twirled and posed on the sidewalk while some twink yelled her name so everyone would look at them as he pretended to be a photographer, even though it looks... READ MORE