Nothing says, hang in there Haiti, we’ve got more bucks for building grade recycled cardboard like a couple veteran Hollywood inebriates showing up to help those wretched voodoo fuckers with a fundraising gala. Without an accurate BAC, it’d be tough to... READ MORE

There comes a time in every woman’s life when she realizes she’s no longer going to get six figures to strip for Mexican cartel chiefs and that chunky unemployed BFF might make a solid fall back position. He doesn’t... READ MORE

You hate to see magazine people run out of ideas in series so quickly. When Maxim named Miley Cyrus the hottest woman in the universe despite her recessive marmoset features, the magazine circled the tank like a floater preparing... READ MORE

I have that dreaded disease where you have trouble recognizing faces. Sometimes I walk right by a guy I spent three years sharing an apartment with or some girl I don’t recognize comes up and slaps me for having... READ MORE

Calling Pamela Anderson’s tit hanging out of her dress a wardrobe malfunction is something akin to the mustached dude at the park innocently explaining how he forgot his pants. These aren’t mere accidents. However Pam’s tits are being measured... READ MORE

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It’s the ass shadow version of Punxsutawney Phil. When Pam Anderson and her new Jane Fonda hair flash crack, it means she’s giving her unemployed husband six more weeks to bang her before she finalizes the divorce proceedings. It’s... READ MORE

Pamela Anderson turned the sentiment of her recent divorce into a string of prose so horribly absurd, Satan ordered rats to dig into Robert Frost’s grave and fuck his skull. Long and rambling, Pam’s poem presents dystopian views critical... READ MORE

Pamela Anderson was showing off her yabbos and picking coins up off the ground over the weekend to get back in touch with that hopeful young girl just arrived in Los Angeles twenty-five years ago. Pam’s truly come full... READ MORE

At some point in every woman’s life, she has to ask herself, am I ready to cut my hair short and start looking more like Ellen. You can pretend the pixie cut or the Robin Wright or the bob... READ MORE