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I think I need to go to better beaches. I went last weekend and saw a fat woman rub out a cigarette on one of the folds of her skin. I don’t think she meant to. I think she... READ MORE

I really thought the whole bodypaint thing was a passing fad. Like henna tattoos or Japanese baseball players. But SI is still sticking with it. And you’d have to be a real dick to complain about any reason to... READ MORE

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Gather round kids for a story of yesteryear. Before the Internet was invented by various smart Asian people (VSAPs), only college nerds knew how to share porn online through their down low college nerd bulletin boards. The rest of... READ MORE

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Now that Kate Upton has tainted her fairy tale princess taint with Diddy, it’s time to start thinking about what comes next. I nominate Nina Agdal. She was runner up to Kate for the highly coveted and highly airbrushed... READ MORE