Whenever somebody tells me anything about their sex life, I’m always thinking just one thing. Unless it involves Katherine Heigl and two donkeys, I’ve heard it before. Still, some people just insist on sharing. Especially older people who are... READ MORE

A bunch of people gave me shit on Twitter for saying Miley Cyrus has won. But she has. This prodigious chipmunk is everywhere. Hosting SNL late into Saturday night. The Today Show on Monday morning. Her auto-tuned symphony Bangerz... READ MORE

People who write ‘Open Letters’ are almost entirely humorless dicks. What is an Open Letter but a self-serving excuse to grandstand your inflated sense of moral superiority. Case in point, Sinead O’Connor’s open letter to Miley Cyrus telling her... READ MORE

By now we’ve all seen Miley Cyrus’ construction equipment humping Wrecking Ball video. Well, in a new commercial for Hostamania, a web hosting site, Hulk Hogan rides a wrecking ball in a thong to the tune of his classic... READ MORE

I want so badly to dislike this feverish looking platypus but it’s really no longer possible. I’ve never seen somebody with such a singularly obvious plan working so well. Hannah Montana has gone crazy. Hey, everybody look. That’s the... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus is just trying to ruin shit now. I used to think she was just a spastic chipmunk with scoliosis acting out against her parents divorce. Now I realize this ‘crazy sexy’ bit is running much deeper and... READ MORE

Here’s how Miley Cyrus decides what to do next. First, she imagines her presumed dead father just returned home after many years and killed her mom’s lover. Then she smokes salvia until the overture to Tommy stops playing over... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus knows how to commit. For her Rolling Stone interview she got the words ‘Rolling Stone’ tattooed onto the bottom of her feet. That’s so fucking punk. Then taking off her top and grabbing her own tit. I... READ MORE

Don’t think this is because I hate you. Somebody needs to observe the way in which midgets are being abused by Miley Cyrus in the name of entertainment. Not only do these smooshed people have to dress like they... READ MORE

If my dog displayed that very same face to me, I’d rush her to the vet and beg the doc to make her better. But for spastic Miley Cyrus at the iHeart Radio Concert in Vegas, that Candida covered... READ MORE