All the political talk about the scourge of Latin American immigration misses the not to be missed number of attractive young Hispanic women coming to the U.S. and desperate never to return. READ MORE

Is it acceptable that fitness trainers have so many contrived body parts? I consider it the height of the craft. Since when did we start labeling certain sciences as more decent than any others. The science of nutrition, the... READ MORE

Michelle Lewin may not be entirely made of human flesh, but whoever built her did one amazing job. Nobody bitches about a Ferrari being built in factory. Shut the fuck up and imagine she’s your girlfriend. Michelle Lewin has... READ MORE

The way they back this chick out of the Knight Rider big rig each weekend looking like she does is nothing short of technology remarkable. If I had one of these I’d dress her exactly like this and set... READ MORE

I don’t care how many unattended kids suffocate under the rafts, I’d like to see twenty of these Venezuelan chicks with sub-muscular implants floating around my apartment community pool. It’s perish in Caracas or come and tilt your thong... READ MORE

Photo Credit: Splash READ MORE

Like many other idiots, each Thanksgiving I feel compelled to visit relatives who live in as cold a fucking place as can support some level of human life. The ice age didn’t just sweep over our tropical environs while... READ MORE

These international models slash fitness instructors slash dating nightclub owners with unnervingly bushy eyebrows girls are like walking works of art. Just look at this chick. What can’t plastic surgery, lax customs laws, and six hours a day in... READ MORE

Forget what I said about that last girl, I want this girl. Big fake tits and ass muscles that could Jaws of Life crash victims right out of crumpled cars. I need a girl who will tell me what... READ MORE

Michelle Lewin keeps her taint positioned eternally toward Orion’s Belt, with Orion being the Latino pimp who smuggled her out of Venezuela and taught her how to spit polish her bare ass for the gringos. Everything Michelle does, from... READ MORE