Somebody who counts the money decided it was time to get Kylie Jenner working the Snapchat pole. The teen reality star with the ‘some sixth grade’ education used her first snap video to film herself putting her hand down... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner posted a picture of herself with darkened skin features and declared she wished she could look like this every day. Zendaya Coleman, the Rosa Parks of half black millennials from Orinda, favorited Kylie’s intellectually intriguing post until... READ MORE

Somebody spread a rumor that Scott Disik was banging one or both of the Jenner girls. Probably mom. He’s white, so they might be market testing a new angle. Also, he’s the only heterosexual male within ten miles of... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna are in a feud because they fucked the same rapper but really who gives a shit. I don’t know what Blac Chyna does or how she differs from any other stripper. It’s possible I... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner’s home schooling by way of a distance GED program in Costa Rica allows her time for reflection and soul searching that many girls her age simply can’t afford. Also, Instagram battles. When the bitch your old man... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner posted a couple photos of her tits about to go for a jog. This would normally be obscene for a seventeen year old, but I’m pretty sure Reebok paid her for the photos, so it’s technically grossly... READ MORE

In another sign of the apocalypse, Kylie and Kendall Jenner are getting their own insipid video game. Their slutty sister Kim Kardashian’s game made millions of dollars because people are super stupid and downloaded it. I wonder if the... READ MORE

Ambassadorships used to be handed out to old white men who ran petrochemical companies and donated heavily to politics. Now it’s mostly young celebrity chicks with big knockers. I’d call this progress. Kylie Jenner was named Ambassador to the... READ MORE

According to the parenting and click bait experts at Yahoo, the youngest child tends to be the most artistic and humorous. Also the most adventurous. And the biggest slut. I’m reading into that. I’m the youngest in my family and... READ MORE

I don’t care if you’re seventeen or whatever Kim’s age is in whore years. These Kardashian girls earn their paychecks because they sell shit that people with narrow brain stems want to purchase. That couldn’t be more American if... READ MORE