If you've got a few coins to your name, you keep it in a bank protected by bullet proof glass and an ex-Samoan wrestler squeezed into an uncomfortably tight private security outfit. 

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Kendall Jenner is unbelievably bangable in red lingerie. Even more bangable out of it. I'm such a pig.

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If Audi commercials have taught us anything it's that being rich and pretty and stupid isn't enough for our daughters anymore. Kendall Jenner has made a small fortune being mostly naked and staring into the distance thinking about puppies. 

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Some large number of pro athletes have older relatives who also excelled at the sport. Greatness isn't random. These chicks didn't wind up in see-through tops with hundreds of cameramen tracking them through Paris Fashion Week by some collision... READ MORE

Hollywood's put women and Leslie Mann's gimp in charge of empowering women in film. Mostly they've come up with taking previously successful film franchises and rebooting them with female casts in the place of the original male cast. You... READ MORE

Kendall Jenner shows off her bikini bod because bonus points for not fucking up her body with implants. Her sweet mum must be seething. And chasing her with a scalpel. READ MORE

There's no perfect order to Kendall Jenner's top three life skills, but nice ass, being super quiet, and unusually STD free for her family are the options. READ MORE

Once you insist that your hot chicks in their underwear party is a "celebration of world cultures", you open the door for a wider range of critcism than merely the kneejerk charge of sexism. Victoria's Secret ruined a bunch... READ MORE

Nothing says this hot women in panties show is not for guys like booking Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, and The Weeknd for your interstitial headliners. Airing the show against Monday Night Football is another. Anything to do with large... READ MORE

There's a reason nature didn't evolve women who were both hot and smart. For the very same reason the vast majority of offensive tackles aren't majoring in engineering. Smart attractive women or smart huge strong guys in any reasonable... READ MORE