Here’s what I know about baby names. The more wacky the baby name, the more the parents want attention for themselves. That’s why celebrities keep giving their kids stupid names. Like North West. It’s a big ‘hey, look at... READ MORE

I don’t know much about English royalty, but I think this birth means Kate Middleton now gets to live. Even when Prince William starts having sex with his homely cousins to whom he is naturally attracted, Kate will be... READ MORE

There’s nothing but excitement over the pending birth of this Windsor baby. I think it’s mostly British people hoping for their first attractive monarch in over four hundred years. I’ve never lived under the legal rule of a queen... READ MORE

Kate Middleton is considering forgoing modern science and giving birth under hypnosis. It’s one of those all-natural hippie birthing techniques that rich douchebags choose instead of plopping out kids high on drugs like God intended. And, the big question... READ MORE

As admittedly lame and puritanical as the U.S. is when it comes to female nudity (the U.S. government will remove your license to broadcast if you show a titty or say the word ‘fuck’ lest we all suffer the hellfire... READ MORE

The universe did Kate Middleton a huge favor by birthing her from an English chick’s chunnel, because by New York City standards Kate’s pretty average looking. But make her British and nobility, and suddenly hordes of ‘me-too’ New York... READ MORE

The Royal Family does absolutely nothing when it comes to running the United Kingdom, but they have a shit ton of money, so they get to pretend that crowns and robes still mean something over there. English people eat... READ MORE

I don’t have any kids myself, because I hate them, but I know that many new parents worry constantly and are terrified that they’re doing everything wrong. I also know that not one of them has ever thought, “I... READ MORE

The Royal Family announced today that Kate Middleton, who married Prince William in April of 2011, is expecting her first child. It’s still early on in her pregnancy, but she was admitted to a hospital in London today for... READ MORE

These pictures show one of the following: A) What Mitt Romney imagines when preparing to campaign in Alabama. B) Prince William and Kate Middleton in the Solomon Islands today as part of their Diamond Jubilee Tour of South East... READ MORE