Jessica Simpson gave birth four months ago on May 1st, and Alessandra Ambrosio gave birth on May 7th, and Jessica and Alessandra are both from Earth, and that’s where the similarities end. Because Jessica looks like she would break... READ MORE

Jessica Simpsons Weight Watchers commercial premiered today, and I can’t tell if it’s for a diet or a whitening toothpaste. Because her teeth look terrific, but she’s big as a house and you can tell even though they only... READ MORE

Jessica Simpsons’ Weight Watchers ads begin next week, and she told USA Today why she thinks she gained so much weight during her pregnancy. The answer may surprise you. But won’t. Basically she’s dumb and she ate a lot.... READ MORE

Just before she gave birth back in May, Jessica Simpson signed a deal with Weight Watchers that will pay her between 3 and 4 million dollars if she can go from a reported 210 pounds back down to 130.... READ MORE

The Daily Mail says Jessica Simpson went to the gym yesterday as part of her $4 million deal with Weight Watchers to get back down to 130 pounds. Maybe next week they can try having her get in and... READ MORE

I rarely talk about the children of celebrities because they didn’t choose to be public figures, but babies are different because fuck them. I hate babies, and it’s not as if their friends are gonna tease them for this... READ MORE

Jessica Simpson posted this picture on twitter this weekend, with the caption… “Just taking a walk around the block… Street legal???” Our shitty, invasive government will no doubt start jailing people for it soon enough but for now it... READ MORE

Jessica Simpson is on the cover of the new Us magazine, and they confirm that she has signed a deal with Weight Watchers which will pay between $3 and 4 million if she can lose the estimated 65 pounds... READ MORE

Jessica Simpson has confirmed that she gave birth to a hulking baby girl this morning, weighing 9 pounds 13 ounces and measuring 21.75 inches. And if that doesn’t sound androgynous enough already, they named her Maxwell Drew. And I’m... READ MORE

The good news is Jessica Simpson got caught in the rain while wearing a sheer little dress. The bad news is it isn’t 2004. She’s officially the largest thing to move since Pangaea. (image source = pacific coast) READ MORE