Kendall Jenner officially declared her sister Kylie's new blond hair as "sick". It's like a nod from Dumbledore at Hogwart's that you're doing alright by the magic school. It's weird to see these teens out on the town in... READ MORE

Hailey Baldwin's metatarsal snaps every reckless evening she spends with Justin Bieber. It's a more virulent strain of chlamydia. Bieber keeps tossing Stephen Baldwin VIP concert tickets to keep him from connecting his daughter's STD stigmata to Leviticus. READ MORE

Hailey Baldwin had cup therapy on her chest to heal her broken heart from her split with Justin Bieber. Numerous celebrities have taken up the ancient Chinese art of suction cup medicine because buttered coffee was making their urine... READ MORE

Justin Bieber has tagged both of these women. It’s two in an impressive list that will ultimately be in his first set of memories, Just How Many Celebrity Models Can a Rich Midget Fuck? The name is meant to... READ MORE

It’s hard to believe Stephen Baldwin made something worthwhile. The skateboarding for Jesus and the absurdist drunken soliloquies I buy. This chick is pretty majestic. Her familiarity with Greek tragedy and genetics might be slight enough that she is... READ MORE

Mexico is sending us their rapists. We’re sending them our whores. It makes sense if you studied street economics. Kris Jenner dispatched Kendall Jenner along with Hailey Baldwin and Pia Mia Perez down to Mexico to chaperone her barely... READ MORE

Hailey Baldwin and cousin Ireland Baldwin mouth kissed on the red carpet of the Mission Impossible premiere because Ireland Baldwin was just cured of her booze and lesbianism and this was her first real test. You never know how... READ MORE

Porntube’s least viewed FFF threesome briefly broke out at a VIP party in Cannes when Kendall Jenner kissed Hailey Baldwin as Victoria’s Secret model Josephine Skriver pushed up Kendall Jenner’s tits. It’s France, where nothing’s gay, just French. This... READ MORE

Coachella isn’t just about the cutting edge of Madonna and Drake kissing on stage, it’s about the people. If you’re a ticket buyer who spent their entire last paycheck from the Coffee Bean on a single wristband, you’re in... READ MORE

Remember that time you and your friends all decided school was for losers and you were going to be famous models together and then that happened for a bunch of you but one of you got left behind because... READ MORE