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Obama and Gwyneth Paltrow To Join Wonder Twin Powers at Rush Hour

October 9, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Right about the time L.A. traffic gets super fucking horrible today, President Obama is going to make it truly memorably by hitting up the Gwyneth Paltrow Goop House West to discuss matters related to ISIS, the prevailing long term... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Isn’t Perfect And Shit Around The Web

September 26, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to know she’s not even all that close to perfect. She may seem arrogant and act holier-than-thou and speak in a tone that seems patronizing if not completely dismissive, but she’s just one us. Read... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Tightens Leash

September 24, 2014 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow still has her husband pussy whipped even though he’s getting hotter younger celebrity photo hacked pussy. Anonymous sources, who would have to be Paltrow’s upstairs gimp given the intimate knowledge, claims Paltrow drew up a schedule for Chris... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Joins The Tribe And Shit Around The Web

September 5, 2014 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Gwyneth Paltrow is officially converting to Judaism. She has fucked around with that mystical bracelet Kabbalah bullshit for years but now she is officially joining the Chosen People. That won’t be much of a self-esteem switch for Gwyneth. As... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow in A Bikini For the Ice Bucket Challenge (VIDEO)

August 21, 2014 | video | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Have you heard about this ALS Ice Bucket Challenge that’s going around? Gwyneth Paltrow scratched her noggin and invented a way to raise money for charity while looking like a cool mom in her sensible bikini. Better yet, she... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Deeply Amazing

August 20, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

When word got out that Chris Martin was dating Jennifer Lawrence, Gwyneth Paltrow and her rapid response team of semi-psychotic public relations yentas leapt into action. There was a explosive dispersement of stories to the major magazines about how... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Needs to Stop With the Metaphors

May 30, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I think we’re now down to women who want giveaway shit on her website in terms of people who don’t want to let Gwyneth Paltrow reprise Jean Claude Van Damme in Hard Target, hunted for sport in a city... READ MORE

Holy Shit, Chris Martin Fed His Kids Fast Food

May 23, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Knowing Gwyneth Paltrow‘s reputation as a holier than thou and better than everyone ego freak, who wouldn’t dare eat anything that wasn’t prepared by the purified hands of a virgin chef, the idea of Chris Martin letting their kids... READ MORE

Gwyneth Paltrow Has Landed

May 7, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, boy, I’d like to be the most hated person in Hollywood, be past 40 with my husband leaving me because he can’t stand my primary traits of hovering and bitchery, and largely be... READ MORE

Chris Martin Blames Himself, I Think

April 30, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Chris Martin has decided to fall on the Unconscious Coupling sword and take the blame for the split between himself and his yoga succubus life partner. Chris did an interview with BBC One to promote his latest compendium of... READ MORE

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