I know the Internet has changed the definition of famous. Those guys at TMZ and CW with that inane let’s make a random family of whores famous reality show taught me so. Just a short while ago, Emily Ratajkowski... READ MORE

After that long stretch of work you put in to get a new girlfriend naked finally, there’s a feeling of disappointment when the next day she’s suddenly wrapped in a burqa and five cardigan sweaters shivering like a Serbian... READ MORE

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Emily Ratajkowski has officially made it. Maybe that means we never get to see her tits again, the downside of her success for the rest of us. As I get older, I’ve learned to feel happy for the success... READ MORE

If my eyes don’t deceive me, that’s an old Datsun 280Z from the 1970’s. Yeah, I’m looking at the car. Okay, now I’m looking at Emily Ratajkowski’s tits. Shit, I might be getting old. Photo Credit: Magdalena Wosinska READ MORE

I’d like to get to a place in my life where models with big yabbos are putting stickers of my face on their nips. It seems like a strong position. Over New Year’s a weight challenged girl on Molly... READ MORE

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I like GQ for being one of the less Hollywood ass-kissing magazines. I’m not big on the cologne and button-down collar reviews, but at least they pretend not to be influenced by the celebrity P.R. machines. Also, they put... READ MORE

Like many people, I find the holiday times can bring on severe blues that can really only be solved by drinking seasonal spirits and fervently masturbating to girls in Santa’s helper outfits. Even the Grinchiest of Grinches will find... READ MORE