Alexis Ren went to the beach and all she brought was a tiny bikini. Maybe a tampon. You really never know. Those pearls are spectacular.

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It's cosmically perfect that models are no less profound than the breathless female bloggers who cover them like they're geopolitical figures. A Cosmo writer found herself "equal parts confused and excited" when young beach model Alexis Ren... READ MORE

Not everything was better in the old days. Good looking chicks who didn't get tapped for traditional modeling careers often straggled back to community college and dental hygienist certifications and you never got to see them mostly naked without... READ MORE

Alexis Ren wears nothing but her arms and a smile. She really should be our next President. She's a woman which seems to be the precise qualification. Also, men don't loathe this one. READ MORE

Social media stardom is no longer a novelty. It's a business. Get in early. Alexis Ren started with bikini photos at fifteen. One of her barely covered mid-teen photos went viral and everybody politely pretended it wasn't millions of... READ MORE

A young chick with buck teeth and a hot body can write her own check. I have to keep looking up this model's age to make sure I'm not getting bunked next to Jared for the next ten years. READ MORE

There’s a possibility that in the modern digital world aspiring cheesecake models won’t ever know the stinging memories of molestation and sexual objectification. Guys like Uncle Terry were the the basic training to see if you could graduate into... READ MORE

I like when bikini models gush in interviews how they loved working with their photographer. It’s a signal to the world they’re down with the program. I loved when Uncle Randy used to take me dress shopping in his... READ MORE

In a world beset by feckless fucks determined to remove joy from life, chicks with tight little asses will continue to trade well. Attempts to construct a web of shame around natural human behavior have forever failed. The longing to stick your dick into... READ MORE