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Alessandra Ambrosio No Panties Either

October 30, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mickey Rourke used to keep this commando shit in check by getting loaded and trying to finger fuck all these models at dress up events. Brazilians, Australians, who isn’t coming to this shining city on the hill and taking... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Salesgirl

October 26, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You can’t get lazier than a bikini business if you’re a bikini model. It doesn’t speak to deep thought on branching out from your day job. The bikini line name ‘Ale’, the first three letters of her own name.... READ MORE

Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid And Alessandra Ambrosio Getting Paid

September 17, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Fashion Week separates the wheat from the chaff. It’s all fun and games to pretend you’re hot at 5’1″ with an obscenely plumped up bottoms and titties, but when these fashion houses are plunking down millions to sell simply... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio Braless For Brazil

September 17, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The Brazil Foundation does important work like telling visitors to Brazil not to look at the starving kids wading in the plastic bottle rivers and pretend the hookers really are boiled peanut vensors. The AIDS did not come from... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio In Turkish Mag

June 4, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Models don’t actually travel to Turkey for photoshoots, you only go to Turkey for tar heroin and on your way to conquer the Middle East and Subcontinent. Also, if you like seeing something resembling a caterpillar rolling across your... READ MORE

Coachella Happened, It Will Happen Again

April 13, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Coachella isn’t just about the cutting edge of Madonna and Drake kissing on stage, it’s about the people. If you’re a ticket buyer who spent their entire last paycheck from the Coffee Bean on a single wristband, you’re in... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio Too Skinny To Model

March 23, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

American politicians are weak-kneed knob gobblers. But they still lick the French. Those fuckers wake up every day and ask themselves how can we be more like our hero, the prison bitch. Legislators in France are pushing a law... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio Arm Bra (VIDEO)

December 19, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you’re not getting an invite to be in this Love Magazine Christmas not quite nude melange, you ought start figuring out how to get frigid magazine editors to anoint you the next Lena Dunham. Every girl with a... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio Dresses Up For The AIDS

December 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Only but a few know the sublime torture of having the neighborhood’s best looking mom. The good looking brunette for whom the prevailing laws indicate must pick up her children from school in Spandex workout gear. I don’t care... READ MORE

Alessandra Ambrosio Does Yoga Pretty Well

December 9, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a perfect world, attractive women who’ve fled Brazil to the safety of Brentwood would all be forced into yoga in the park to pay their fake Obama fines for not waiting in line for immigration. It would be... READ MORE

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