Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt would eat a litter of puppies if they thought it would land them a sentence in Parade Magazine. Instead, they’re having a kid.

The Daily Mail must pay $2.9M in damages after claiming that Melania Trump operated as a dick servicing station before marrying Donald Trump. During and after remain in question. 

Kate Beckinsale flaunts her body in a trio of new Instagram pictures. Shamelessness is a virtue when you're attractive. Beckinsale hit the genetic jackpot. As a 43-year-old woman, she should be the fake kind of sexy involving a technically... READ MORE

Mariah Carey is a national treasure. Her mental instability brings joy to millions of Americans anxious to see another star implode right through her girdle. But Carey will never go full Shelley Duvall. Dr. Phil won’t have the pleasure... READ MORE

Kylie Jenner is getting her own spinoff series. This is the sixth spinoff show or so from the original Kardashian reality mothership. E! and three hundred of their closest friends are putting their kids through college on this nonsense. 

Bella Hadid sports a fashionable camel toe sponsored by Nike. Their marketing team put her vagina lips in the contract. Centaur asses are the norm now. Instagram mannequins have to look mythical. 

Scarlett Johansson isn’t happy with Ivanka Trump. The actress spoke with Arianna Huffington at the Women in the World Summit in New York City where women and the beta males who serve them assembled to drink water out of... READ MORE

Congratulations to Kim Kardashian. The porn star is celebrating the ten-year anniversary of her big break. Vivid released Kim Kardashian, Superstar on March 21, 2007. Now we have the numbers. They’ll make you question the person sitting next to... READ MORE

Pamela Anderson will be 50 in July. Look at her face if you need proof. The former porn star and current grab bag of bones and silicon is opening up about her "affair" with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.

Conversations happen when two people at least pretend to give a fuck about each other. The Kardashians and discount Kardashians, the Jenners, can manage to fart self-pitying monologues through their collapsing lips.