Juliette Lewis is 41 although thetans never die or go gay. She was survived by her camel toe. I don’t know how this happens but don’t show up to hormone replacement therapy in a Hoveround or they tend to... READ MORE

After Selena Gomez was apparently fat shamed on Instagram by trolls hired by her public relations team, she decided to speak out on behalf of all the twenty two year old chicks who could maybe lose six ounces: “IM IN... READ MORE

It turns out the War on Terror is not strategically centered around Scott Stapp as he had previously claimed in a series of grainy meth fueled ramblings shot atop fire blankets in the Motel 6. As I predicted at the... READ MORE

After posting photos of her muffin top oozing out of her leggings and repeated photos of her dog eating beef pho, Lena Dunham decided on an insurance policy and put up a photo of her Girls co-star Jemima Kirke in her... READ MORE

A few guys went out to a soccer game in Canada so they’d have a decent excuse to get loaded and one of them interrupted a TV interview by yelling “Fuck her right in the pussy” on camera. Apparently... READ MORE

Plus sized model Ashley Graham’s business card reads that she’s the first plus sized model to appear in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. While technically true, this is disingenuous because she was only featured in an advertisement for bras... READ MORE

Sean Combs has six children with three different women yet has never married, solidifying his status as a role model for deadbeat dads who don’t understand he’s paying for private school and there’s more to life than the Elephant Bar. Combs... READ MORE

Erin Andrews appeared repulsed when double amputee and war veteran Noah Galloway proposed to his girlfriend on Dancing With The Stars. It sucks when you’re upstaged by the stars of the pretend reality show you’re hosting. It was always... READ MORE

Hugh Jackman has a diverse array of talents including getting ripped as fuck at the gym and performing on Broadway. For brevity’s sake, we refer to this as being gay. Jackman also plays Wolverine, a role which exclusively requires... READ MORE

Lena Dunham posted a grotesque muffin top photo which is most likely designed to empower women by giving them the ability to kill men’s boners until the seas rise another three centimeters from global warming and swallow us whole. Dunham... READ MORE