June 12, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
Taylor Swift posted her first Instagram with her new boyfriend Calvin Harris, the modern day equivalent of commitment. It used to be anal on your wedding night. We’re living in strange times. Harris is a Scottish guy who found moderate...
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June 11, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
Courtney Stodden’s mom Krista Keller used to be her manager before she released a video of herself masturbating with a Swiffer and lied about it being stolen. I’m not sure what managing Stodden entailed prior to that but I’d...
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June 11, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Ex Playmate Holly Madison is writing a serialized memoir in US Weekly in giant type to compensate for her lack of material. She details extremely unshocking revelations such as Hugh Hefner likes to do drugs and fuck. For some context...
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June 11, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Caitlyn Jenner posed with Dr Harrison Lee and thanked him for doing ten hours of cosmetic surgery which ultimately led to her self actualization of being someone who is obsessed with their face. I’m not even sure plastic surgery should be legal....
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June 10, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Snoop Dogg had a deal to promote Blast by Colt 45, which is a fruit flavored malt liquor because he enjoys giving back to the community. He received $250,000 up front and $2,000 every time he mentioned Blast on...
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June 10, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
Paramedics were called to Charlie Sheen’s coke compound at eleven at night because he was suffering from food poisoning. Drink some Gatorade and if you call us back we’re writing you a ticket. Whoever called didn’t dial 911, but...
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June 10, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Like most young people today Kyemah McEntyre has suffered a persistent dull aching oppression which can’t be articulated but everyone’s a survivor now. That used to mean narrowly escaping the gas chamber but is now applied to those who...
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June 9, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Beyonce went on Good Morning America after having stated she was going to announce some major news such as a new album or a third tit but it turned out to be a lie in the name of self promotion. The...
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June 9, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Miley Cyrus posed naked with her pet pig on the cover of Paper Magazine. You might remember Paper from photoshopping Kim Kardashian’s implanted ass on it’s cover and then claiming it broke the Internet even though the Internet still...
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June 9, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Kate Moss was kicked off a plane in Turkey because she got into an argument with another passenger, called the pilot a “basic bitch” and was refused alcohol at which point she got her own vodka out of her...
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