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Beyonce Canadian Tuxedo

June 17, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

It’s amazing someone whose only interest is their appearance could fall on their ass like this. I don’t care about fashion or even wiping the stripper crumbs off my Dickies but if my girl tried to leave the house like... READ MORE

Fitness Model Pioneers Sucking In

June 17, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Sophie Kay is a 27 year old fitness expert who is pushing boundaries of that field by not being in great shape, which used to be the lone qualification of that job. Kay has posted several photos of herself in... READ MORE

Kardashian Franchise Falling Prey To Natural Selection

June 16, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lamar Odom’s best friend and frequent Khloe and Lamar reality show visitor Jamie Sangouthai died of a heroin overdose. It’s unclear how they became friends or how much money he borrowed from him. Sangouthai was in Odom and Khloe Kardashian’s... READ MORE

When Reality TV Fails

June 16, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ryan De Nino and Jessica Castro are two beer goggles sevens with threaded eyebrows who met on a reality show called Married at First Sight. The show is a zany take on traditional murder. Greasy hipster producers from Silverlake post... READ MORE

Armless Chick Weds

June 16, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The chick who got her arm bit off by a shark and continues to surf until that fucker comes for her other got married to a guy who either loves her unconditionally or has an unacknowledged fetish. Bethany Hamilton... READ MORE

Swedish Prince Marries Commoner

June 15, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

I don’t know what a Swedish prince does but it probably includes not working and scrubbing state provided history text books of the Nazi alliance. Prince Carl Philip is third in line to Sweden’s throne, which affords him a... READ MORE

Lark Voorhries Likes The Bad Boys

June 15, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lark Voohries from Saved By The Bell and nothing else is currently married to a guy she met on Facebook, meaning it’s not a total waste of time. Jimmy Green is wanted in Arizona where he has a warrant... READ MORE

Farrah Abraham Bio Hazard

June 15, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Farrah Abraham has partnered with a company called Celebrity Gene which extracts DNA from hair and puts it in a vial to be worn as a necklace so you can get punched in the face if you tell someone you... READ MORE

Rick Ross Finally Gets Some Street Cred

June 12, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Shameless impostor Rick Ross was arrested in Georgia for having five joints in his car after being pulled over for an illegal window tint which turned out just to be his face. Ross’ real name is William Leonard Roberts.... READ MORE

Ryan Seacrest Putting In Work

June 12, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Ryan Seacrest is officially dating former Miss Teen USA Hilary Cruz. It’s not a good sign when you’re still talking about that at 26. Seacrest has been busy with American Idol and executive producing Caitlyn Jenner’s upcoming spectacle of... READ MORE

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