August 6, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
Janay Rice did an interview for ESPN’s Outside the Lines because they ran out of people to exploit this week and there’s a revolving rolodex marked People Who Call Back. Janay repeatedly objected to Ray being called a “Wife beater”...
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August 6, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Karlie Kloss, who possibly stole her name from the back of a Vivid Video, is putting her modeling career on hold to attend NYU although she’s not clear what to major in or how to hold a pencil. Kloss...
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August 6, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
It’s entirely possible the rumors Ben Affleck was porking the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, are false. In fact there is zero credible evidence to back it up. Except that she’s a hot Armenian chick in her late 20’s. If that’s...
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August 6, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Paris Hilton claims she’s never had any plastic surgery even though her ass looks like a walnut and her tits are voluptuous in contrast to the rest of her little boy at the beach milk carton body. Losers who...
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August 5, 2015 |
Uncategorized |
matt-ralston|
BMX racer and eventual paralysis victim Robbie Maddison went to Tahiti and surfed his motorcycle on some giant waves because we’re out of ideas. The bike had been modified to float on water, making it more of a glorified...
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August 5, 2015 |
bikini |
matt-ralston|
Rihanna went to her native Barbados’ annual food and AIDS festival which celebrates Kadooment Day, a holiday which signifies the end of the sugar cain harvest and coincidentally everyone is coked out of their minds. She had a float and spent a...
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August 5, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Drunken trainwreck and former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills hag Kim Richards tried to steal some 50 items worth $600 from a Target and was promptly arrested. No word on how many boxes of lube or decorative ceramic rooster...
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August 4, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Gay Will Smith and his lesbian wife are not getting a divorce because they’re probably not actually married plus that would be a huge hassle. Namely Scientology has enough on their plate without another character assassination. Smith took to...
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August 4, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
Ice T just knocked up his wife whom he married to brag about her silicon ass to his friends. He’s 57. She’s a young 74. Ice has a few children from previously relationships. In fact he hit for the cycle...
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August 4, 2015 |
celebrity |
matt-ralston|
For the eight readers who give a shit, Lex is currently on a much needed vacation slash undergoing sexual reassignment surgery. That means they’re turning his medium sized cock into a huge cunt. He will be back soon enough,...
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