Failed experiment Geno Smith of the New York Jets will miss 6-10 weeks after his teammate broke his jaw in an argument stemming from a $600 plane ticket. Guys named Geno are never dependable. Teammate IK Enemkpali was immediately... READ MORE

Nicki Minaj got drunk off malt liquor which isn’t even liquor and makes no sense much like her career and said that random rapper dude Meek Mill was her “baby father.” If you don’t use poor grammar stylistically or simply... READ MORE

Rihanna is solidifying her status as the hot chick you hook up with once and never call back yet stay up late on holidays masturbating to the memory with a soft focus lens. She’s taken to laying down naked... READ MORE

Having huge tits is both a blessing and a curse. It’s apparently hard to jog. Also difficult to exercise when weird Persians are buying you clothes. You’ve been getting a lot of attention and grown completely lazy. Breasts are... READ MORE

Kim Kardashian is pregnant with another person whose life expectancy is 37. You can only be a shitty moron once removed. Plus they’re developing new pills. Apparently when you get pregnant your tits get really big and swollen which... READ MORE

Gisele Bundchen wore a burqa to disguise herself while getting new tits in Paris, which was a dead giveaway because her exposed ankles said Brazilian whore all the way. She also got her eyes done and most likely mused... READ MORE

Vogue Williams is an Irish model meaning her voice will kind of make you go soft in the heat of passion. She has appeared on Dancing with the Stars and it’s unclear if she’s a dancer or a star... READ MORE

Daniel Watts has two credits to her name, Django Unchained and fucking her powdery boyfriend in public. After all of Ventura Blvd saw them boning in a salvage title Benz, Watts tried to pull the race card which didn’t work... READ MORE

Miley Cyrus does so many things that would be cute if she were nine and you were an unemployed pharmacist trying to cancel out your dad relentlessly beating you because you couldn’t catch a pop up. Given she’s a 22 year... READ MORE

After being arrested for driving four times over the legal limit a little under two weeks ago, that one guy from that one song let’s throw shit at him West Scantlin was again issued a DUI, this time in South Dakota... READ MORE