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Lindsay Lohan Comes Clean

July 27, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan apologized for her public histrionics accusing her Russian trust fund boyfriend of cheating on her which he most certainly was. Hopefully he used a condom because Lohan definitely has herpes. As it turns out she's a bipolar... READ MORE

Amber Heard Leaking

July 26, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Amber Heard and her team of Johnny Depp ambulance chasers have been openly sharing details of their divorce proceedings to TMZ. It's unclear how she looks in the mirror and it's a bonafide fact she doesn't give head. Her... READ MORE

Michael Jackson Outed Posthumously

July 26, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The guy who administered Michael Jackson's fatal dose of pain killers is calling out Jackson as a pedophile. Conrad Murray did two years for executing Jackson by way of administering hardcore sleepy time opiates then leaving the room to... READ MORE

Amber Heard And Elon Musk Possibly Boning

July 25, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Amber Heard is reportedly sucking Elon Musk's cock. Musk is a bonafide genius. Any media outlet with financial stake in Tesla will gladly tell you in 3,000 words. He's probably super smart. Yet marketing and super genius rarely go... READ MORE

Iggy Azalea Bum Rush

July 25, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The fact Iggy Azalea thinks this is a flattering picture speaks to a harsh truth: People are fucking garbage. She's into body modification possibly as a response to a documented rape she is on the record as having enjoyed.... READ MORE

Hugh Hefner’s Wife Removes Implants

July 22, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Hugh Hefner's wife Crystal suffers from lyme disease and toxic mold syndrome, which is something you probably get from making out with Hugh Hefner. To combat these ailments she had her fake tits removed. Medically speaking this seems like... READ MORE

Megyn Kelly Has It Rough

July 22, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Megyn Kelly wore a slightly revealing dress which Queen Elizabeth would have not approved of while covering the Republican National Convention and received a minor amount of backlash on Twitter, mostly from unattractive middle aged cat ladies. This was... READ MORE

Lyin’ Ted Cruz Makes A Bold Move (VIDEO)

July 21, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Creepy used car salesman Ted Cruz and his prolific forehead grease used his RNC speech to further his own agenda and did not endorse Trump, as is the entire point of giving a speech at the RNC. Cruz is... READ MORE

Amber Heard Blabbing

July 21, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Amber Heard and her lawyers are reportedly leaking details of her and Johnny Depp's impending divorce settlement. Next time you feel the need to waffle about the gender pay gap, calculate the amount of money dudes are paying to... READ MORE

Nobody Understands The Legality of Swift/West/Kardashian Phone Recording (VIDEO)

July 20, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

A plethora of armchair lawyers and dumb bloggers are speculating as to the legality of someone recording Kanye West's phone call to Taylor Swift. To recap, she's a liar and if you look at her face it seems plausible... READ MORE

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