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Lindsay Lohan Butt Hurt

September 2, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan posted a photo to Instagram complaining that her ex-boyfriend has not apologized to her yet. No word on whether he's apologized to his family for dating Lindsay Lohan. This is what passes for communication these days. It's... READ MORE

Chris Brown Accuser Spelled Out Her Plan

September 2, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Chris Brown's greasy lawyer Mark Geragos is reportedly in possession of a text message from Baylee Curran where she incriminates herself almost too perfectly. The text was reportedly sent from her phone just after she left Brown's coke den... READ MORE

Tyga Is Funny In A Sad Way

September 1, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Tyga's Ferrari was repossessed while he had it parked at a car dealership where he was looking at a Bentley. Don't share this information with your racist uncle, it will just encourage him. READ MORE

Female Comedian Sues Katt Williams

September 1, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Comedian Ashima Franklin used to open for Katt Williams but it turns out he was a total nightmare. I definitely had him pegged for the crossword puzzle single glass of wine with dinner type. Franklin alleges he threw food... READ MORE

Selena Gomez Way Out Of The Lupus

August 31, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

You can't really take a disease like lupus seriously, because it's called lupus. If it was actually that bad its name would strike fear into your heart like AIDS or SARS or Dwight Howard. Selena Gomez has lupus. Again,... READ MORE

Amber Heard’s Last Movie Limping To The Finish Line

August 31, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Rumor has it Amber Heard fucked Billy Bob Thornton on the set of a movie they filmed together, which would make sense because she's an opportunistic whore without morals who was already fucking another weird old guy with bad... READ MORE

Black Chyna Is Gross

August 30, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Blac Chyna did a vomit inducing photo shoot for Paper magazine. If Valtrex isn't advertising in that publication they're missing out. READ MORE

Francis Bean Cobain Loser Husband Emo Shit

August 29, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kurt Cobain shot himself in the head twenty years ago. There's some evidence to suggest his incredibly untalented wife may have played a hand in it. The content of her records just happen to mimic whatever rock star was... READ MORE

Colin Kaepernick Taking A Stand, Or Not

August 29, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Colin Kaepernick is refusing to stand for the National Anthem during preseason games because he read the Cliff's Notes to to Malcolm X's autobiography. As evidence he is posting a bunch of memes with civil rights quotes to his... READ MORE

Johnny Depp Not Risking Anything

August 26, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Amber Heard has gone on record as saying she will be giving the $7 million she got for extorting her husband to a couple of charities, including the ACLU, even though that's not actually a charity. How admirable, yet... READ MORE

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