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Drake’s Jewelry Thief Pretty Sketch

September 12, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Drake recently had ten thousand bucks worth of jewelry stolen from his tour bus, which due to insurance reasons was reported as between $2-3 million worth. READ MORE

Mark Ruffalo Draws Trans Ire

September 12, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mark Ruffalo walks around asking people to pardon his unsightly penis so it's not a good sign when he's being lynched by the PC crowd. READ MORE

Demi Lovato Making Money For God

September 9, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Demi Lovato is now the co-owner of CAST Centers, a for-profit Los Angeles based mental health and wellness treatment facility. She was referred there after she had a massive breakdown, perhaps due to her obvious narcissistic personality disorder, or... READ MORE

Paris Jackson Moves Into Michael Jackson’s House

September 9, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Paris Jackson has moved into the guesthouse of her dead gay pedophile father's old Encino mansion. It's common to leave the house at 18, just not into a 10,000 square foot mansion with kiddy porn hidden in the walls.... READ MORE

Zendaya Denied From Vons Because She’s Black

September 8, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Zendaya is apparently an entertainer in the true definition of the word, meaning she is balling with at least $400 in available credit line. She was at a Vons, by far the worst and most ghetto supermarket chain in... READ MORE

Guy Brags About Buying Bieber A Sandwich

September 8, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some guy named Kody Christiansen reportedly paid Justin Bieber's bill at Subway after his credit card was declined, proof that only assholes still eat at Subway. Kody insists he didn't want to publicly take credit for his good deed,... READ MORE

Jamie Foxx And Katie Holmes On The DL

September 7, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

According to a report by Radar Online, Katy Holmes and Jamie Foxx have been sneaking around together because her divorce settlement with her gay husband prevents her from publicly dating anyone for five years. This report seems dubious. Contracts... READ MORE

Kate Upton To Gain Some Weight

September 7, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kate Upton did an interview and shockingly brought up the fact that she was made fun of as a child like every model ever. This is formality they must do along with pretending to have an affinity for cheeseburgers. READ MORE

Johnny Manziel More Bad Advice

September 6, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Johnny Manziel is apparently reenrolling at the University of Texas to finish his bullshit degree in Recreation, Parks, and Tourism Sciences. The entire point of having a fake major is that you don't study for it. READ MORE

Obama Has Kaepernick’s Back

September 6, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

President Obama is sticking up for Colin Kaepernick's decision to sit out the National Anthem, insuring your idiot friend will blame the national debt on him. Why's he playing so much golf like every president who could walk has... READ MORE

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