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Azealia Banks Should Be Taken Out Behind The Barn

October 18, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Azalea Banks has filed a police report after Russell Crowe grabbed her and threw her out of his hotel room because she belligerently threatened to stab some of his friends with a broken wine glass. Crowe and the RZA... READ MORE

Amy Schumer Alienates Trump People

October 18, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

About 200 people walked out of an Amy Schumer show in Tampa after she made fun of Donald Trump. This was an audience of 10,000, so not that big of a deal, although it is frightening that... READ MORE

Donald Trump Fired Khloe Kardashian For Valid Reasons

October 17, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Now is a good time to be an anonymous source or have a cushy AP job. Who's checking the sources? Absolutely nobody but they'll be printed. You really sacrificed your integrity, AP Guy #37, here's a 4 percent raise. READ MORE

Mia Khalifa Leaks Chad Kelly’s Texts

October 17, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mia Khalifa lives in Tallahassee, claims to go to Florida State but don't ask for her transcripts, and gets her disgusting bloated fake cartoonish tits fucked on camera by a Russian national from time to time, sometimes while wearing... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan Goes Muslim

October 14, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

For unknown reasons Lindsay Lohan has become passionate about the Syrian refugee crisis, probably to get attention. She was in a Turkish camp wearing a hijab and shooting the shit with the huddled masses, even dawning a medical coat... READ MORE

Dancing With The Stars Targets Billy Bush

October 14, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Dancing with the Stars has solidified its place as pop culture's trash heap. Their definition of celebrity appears to be anyone in the tabloids for nefarious reasons or anyone blood related to someone famous for being a douchebag. READ MORE

Tom Brady No Comment On Trump

October 13, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Tom Brady is friends with Donald Trump because he gets free golf out of the deal and Brady is nothing if not pragmatic. Over/under he spends 45 minutes on the phone per week haggling with Time Warner to knock... READ MORE

Kristen Stewart And St Vincent Back Together

October 13, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Kristen Stewart is back together with her ex girlfriend St Vincent who was formerly dating Cara Delevingne making her the new Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon except with crotch bumping or quite possibly just Instagram pics. READ MORE

Jim Carrey Gives the Gifts That Keep on Flaring

October 12, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The mother of Jim Carrey's deceased girlfriend Cahtriona White is suing Carrey for wrongful death. It's pretty crazy that a jury can rule you killed someone and your punishment is having to pay a shitload of money. Maybe we... READ MORE

Vikram Chatwal Tries To Burn Dogs

October 12, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Sikh Manhattan playboy Vikram Chatwal apparently got fucked up on some kind of drug and took his two dogs outside his apartment and tried to burn them with a makeshift aerosol can and lighter torch. Doing this means you're... READ MORE

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