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Eliot Spitzer’s Hooker Heading To Prison

November 2, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Svetlana Travis Zakharova is the Russian hooker who fucked Eliot Spitzer and then began blackmailing him and claimed he assaulted her. So, basically a typical Russian chick. READ MORE

Rob Kardashian Cucked

November 1, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some aspiring rapper named Pilot Jones filed a police report against Rob Kardashian for sending him threatening texts because Pilot sold photos of himself making out with Blac Chyna to TMZ and is claiming he's the father of Chyna's... READ MORE

Mariah Carey Demanding Money

November 1, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

This Mariah Carey thing is really complicated. First off her tits cause her to have to crawl off the ceiling of the airplane when it reaches cruising altitude. READ MORE

Mariah Carey Won’t Fuck Before Marriage

October 31, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey is quietly one of the worst people alive, so of course she wants a reality show. If it included a Myth Busters segment on whether or not she's been injecting stuffed crust pizza filling into her tits... READ MORE

Ashley Olsen Has A Type

October 31, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The Olsen twins had the will to live sucked out of them well before they hit puberty. The two of them now walk around looking way too thin and like they literally would feel nothing if they were attacked... READ MORE

Mariah Carey Dumped By Billionaire Boyfriend

October 28, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Inherited billionaire James Packer has dumped fiancee Mariah Carey for several reasons. Mostly he realized he could fuck way hotter chicks who are way less annoying, although he reportedly has a fetish for extremely bloated tits that look like... READ MORE

Miranda Kerr’s Violent Stalker A Hunk

October 28, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The guy who jumped Miranda Kerr's fence holding a love letter and then stabbed her security guard in the eye is apparently a real casanova. Who knows, she might still fall in love with him READ MORE

Guy Admits To Killing Trump’s Star

October 27, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some guy named James Otis destroyed Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in order to protest sexual assault and also that the nearby Buffalo Wild Wings refuses to give him free club soda. READ MORE

Kesha Keeps It Going

October 27, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

It's pretty obvious Dr Luke never raped Kesha but now she's saying in a New York Times profile that he used to criticize her weight in front of people. That seems entirely plausible. Nobody ever said he was the... READ MORE

Paris Hilton Corrupting The Youth

October 26, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Paris Hilton has been shoving herself in front of paparazzi cameras with Sofia Richie, Lionel Richie's 18 year old daughter. If you could tell Richie was a prick based on his wardrobe and music videos, the way his children... READ MORE

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